LACY: Welcome to The Hive!! Can you believe it? After all of this collaborating, we are really going to do this thing!
LIZ: What’s a hive?
MICHELLE: A place where bees hang out. To make honey. And to share that sweet goodness.
LIZ: And as we have come to realize, we have a lot of goodness to share on the subject of pushing past the perception of how much of the world may view southern women entrepreneurs.
LACY: There is so much life in one room ready to just share and share until the cows come home. Talking is definitely something southern women do well. One thing that is consistent though every single time we get together is that we always have encouragement and business ideas to share. We may say we are getting together to discuss one thing, but in the end, we always end up brain storming to help one or the other develop the next big social media blitz or customer appreciation idea. It is never just one thing with us, and it is never just “real quick” either.
MICHELLE: So Elizabeth, why do you have us all here? Why did you send us THAT text that morning about 6 months ago?
LIZ: Well I had a particular thing go down within my business that was just the last straw on the last camel’s back that left my heart aching. I specifically have a thriving network marketing business that primarily is promoted through social media. And I have watched women in this section of the marketplace, not just my particular company, devour each other on a competitive level as if there is not enough business to go around for everyone. I am very successful at what I do, but not at the expense of another human being. And as I began to feel crushed, I decided to raise my head and look around to see who else is out there running the same type of race as me. You know the saying, “Run as fast as you can, then look to your right and left. Those running beside you as fast as you…those are your people.” So that is what I did. I wanted, I needed local business women who I could tangibly get my hands on from time to time who I could trust to share my business lows as well as highs. I wanted to be known in a business space on a higher-level thinking by other successful people without them feeling like I wanted to steal their friends or customers. And I want it to be okay if we do not always agree.
MICHELLE: Yeah, because how many times in our lives even as young girls have we been told either out right verbally or subliminally “you can’t sit here”. It does not just go away when we become adults.
LACY: But why us? Our community is full of amazing entrepreneurs. What made you send that text?
LIZ: I am a very observant person. I need people in my life that are the same in- person as they are online. It is easy to appear successful on a social media square. It is also somewhat easy to appear successful in public. I mean paint on some makeup, carry a luxury handbag, send the perfect family Christmas card, attend the right social events and WHAM…you’ve got everyone fooled. All the while so many women are dying to truly be known. They are dying to have the commodity of transparency where they can grow while admitting they are actually limping along. But more often than not, that vulnerability lands them at the top of the discussion table with another group of women so that those women can feel better about their lack of business.
LACY: Yeah, how many times have we been a part of a conversation about what works for another girl and then you hear someone say “That only works for her because…” or “I tried that one time too, it won’t last long.” Or the worst is when someone is silently taking notes of your success and then copies you verbatim as if you had nothing to do with it.
LIZ: Each of the women I sent that text to that day ALL live transparent lives where the real life and the highlight reels line up. You each have created a community through social media that stretches farther than just Starkville Mississippi. You do with it what it was intended to do. But then in real life public you are that same person. And I find that very unique as well as magnetic. I was physically shaking as I pressed SEND because I adore and admire you ladies, and I was risking you thinking I was a complete flake.
MICHELLE: I think you had confidence in what you saw in how we have impressions upon people.
LIZ: Yes, you each have such an impact on people both in person as well as online. And I was praying to God that your hearts were authentic and pure. But I was prepared to have a response of “NO”.
MICHELLE: It is most easy as a business owner to never post online. To leave your personal life personal and your business life business. And it is very easy to assume that everyone in a business space is one unit and fit we together seamlessly and get along. But the reality does not always match in the grocery store or at the ball field. And you were having a fit over this. If we can do it socially, we should be able to do this in real life.
LIZ: But I refuse to think that faking it or hiding is helping people in the world we live in. Whether we like it or not, we live in a fast-paced social media driven society that has people running back home as fast as they can to hide every single night. We are not most effective by playing into that façade. And I just felt like I needed to start the conversation with people that it appeared I could trust. But I was terrified.
LACY: Yeah, I think you first found me through social media. You found my blog about our infertility issues. And then stopped into my studio to say “hi”.
LIZ: Yes! I was so impressed with your wisdom & business savviness at such a young age. And then the fact that we share an almost identical infertility journey was super spooky. And Michelle..hello social media queen! I am pretty sure you invented hashtags.
MICHELLE: Liz, you and I of course went to the same highschool and lived in the same neighborhood, but that one year’s grade difference kept us from ever really knowing each other as kids. Our highschool was huge.
LIZ: But you better believe I was screaming for you that day your ENTIRE family busted up onto the Ellen show. I wanted to hitch my wagon to your story from the day you decided to go into the food business. You are just one of those people that everyone is attracted to. Even Tim Tebow can’t help himself.
MICHELLE: We have got to get him to eat carbs.
LIZ: And there are two other local girls here in town that were on that original text thread where I just took a long shot, held my breath and risked looking like a total idiot. I sent a message that basically just said, “Yall my heart is breaking because I feel like we as business women are not doing a good job of truly being kind. It is like we do not know how to be happy for someone else’s success because somehow we assume that that women’s success means that we are somehow not succeeding ourselves. That if she WINS, we LOSE. Is it possible to clap for someone else without having to worry about who’s feelings you are going to hurt?”
Yall, the second I pressed “send” my heart began to pound SO loud. I honestly had no idea how this was going to be received, but then again, what did I have to loose.
MICHELLE: Yall that day it was literally like you had read my mind. I had to stop myself from going LIVE on my Instagram, yall know I love my Instagram. But the day before you contacted us because I was drowning in this topic as well. To look at things over the course of the summer, times at the pool, there were so many times I was seeing things and I was watching. I had become an observer after I sold my business. So I was watching people. Being a player on the field and now being someone sitting in the stands being able to watch what was actually happening. But I thought, heck freaking yes I am not alone.
LACY: What you are describing here was exactly the situation I was going through that very day….this is not something that is isolated to just a small southern town. It is happening all over our country. I have a pilates studio, but during my time in my retail store as well is where I realized and saw that meeting other people at market and listening to other women’s stories in their own towns this is everywhere. This is not just specific in the south. I do think there is a uniqueness to it in the south but it is important for us to know that if you are listening to us Florida, or Oregon, Wisconsin or California you are going to be able to identify with it.
MICHELLE: The other two girls in this original conversation will definitely be regular guests on the podcast with us, but they are in their most hectic time of year with their retail store.
LACY: I find it so refreshing that even though they have championed us and offered so much perspective along the way in developing these ideas, they are wise enough to know that they need boudaries and NOW is not the season for them to step into something new. And I have a huge amount of respect for that.
LIZ: And what we walked away from that very first meeting in that basement downtown with all five of us is that we are all standing on top of success mountains, but on different islands. Safe little islands away from the cattiness of potential disappointment that comes from offering your hand in friendship only to have it slapped when you offer the same hand of friendship to another entrepreneur. We had each unintentionally ran to a place of self protection while pressing the heart button on a social media post or giving an air high five across the room at a school function.
LACY: We “liked” eachother and wanted to be friends, but had been burned enough already that staying safe worked. In fact, about a year ago, I tried to create a program for young girls and it just never could quite get the momentum because I was attempting to do it alone.
MICHELLE: Well we are done with that. Safe is lonely and no one grows in that space. The cat is out of the bag now and we have no choice but to run. So many of you are out there being successful alone but are just like us and desire more.
LACY: Or we are at least perceived as being successful.
MICHELLE: Because the reality is, who of the three of us actually has all of the laundry done this morning? Like all of it folded and put away?
LIZ: A bunch of hands down.
LACY: Mine only because of my husband.
LIZ: We have told everyone how we know each other and how this idea came to be, but let’s tell more about what they can expect from us individually as the podcast develops. We have so much content that supports the ideas of winning in the business place while not viewing other women as your competition. But as you can already tell, our personalities and behavior styles are different, so you are going to get a full transparent scope of how southern women live out business.
MICHELLE: So Elizabeth, what are we getting into and what is your number one goal that you hope people take away through this podcast?
LIZ: My name is Elizabeth, on the Ennegram if you are familiar with that, I am an 8 wing 7. On the DiSC profile I am a Di. But that is all behavior and personality type stuff. I am an introverted extrovert. I enjoy being by myself, I get my energy from being by myself. I am a deep thinker and a big giver and lover. I am 0% or 100%. From me you are going to get transparency that is going to make you uncomfortable because you are not going to be okay with how much I share and you are not going to be okay with what I ask you to share. That’s the thing I have gotten my whole life. I walk into a room and my presence makes people uncomfortable because they know that when they walk away from a conversation with me it does not stop there. It is never surface level. It is so much deeper than that. So Lacy, what are people going to get from you, who are you and what do you hope to contribute to this podcast?
LACY: I am Lacy Mitchell Arant. You can just know that I generally will be recording in red lipstick because that is all I will have energy most days to put myself together with. I just think more than anything appreciate being invited into this because I do know the dynamic between Michelle and Elizabeth and I am the only one that is not from Starkville originally. I have been here a long time but I think that the fact that they brought me into this is a privilege I have not felt in a long time and so that is what is bringing me a lot of joy. From me I think you will hear the complete willingness to be completely honest about my failures. I do not have a huge success story. I have not built a multi million dollar business. But what I have done I have tried to be creative and love my girls that have come to me as students really well. What I know about self now is that I am a 7 on the Enneagram what brings me the most joy is to see people around me experience the fullness of joy in their own lives. That they fully savor life and what life gives them. I have always been confused with myself as a business women. I hate looking at the books. I do not really care at the end of the day the bank statement says. But what fires me up is to see my girls move away to open their own studio or my girls move to Nashville to work at a upper cool company or start a blog and be an influencer to have younger girls look up to them. That is what really fires up my engine. That is the thing in a small town that can make it hard. Because my whole thing is to see people experience joy and when that is not happening, I am sad. SO that is what I really hope to bring to this. That is if you can really celebrate someone, how much that can really fill your cup. To see someone else successful whether they work with you or not. And I just hope to bring that aspect or that vision to this. Then show people that loving people where they are and celebrating their successes can bring immense joy. Michelle, tell us about you girlfriend.
MICHELLE: I am Michelle Tehan. I am a mom of triplets plus one Drew, wife to Alan. I am a sister, a daughter. I absolutely adore my family. I am really bold person which has gotten me into trouble so many times in my life. I have been such an unkind person at different phases of my life. The energy, oh my, I feel like you can almost feel when I enter the room. I was actually a MSU baseball game in Omaha this year and I sent Trevor Fitz or maybe his wife a message and said, “I am actually here, I am at the stadium.” And they text back, “Whew! I knew I just felt the wind change.” I mean my presence and energy that I put off is either really really exciting, or really really sad or really really mad and I embrace those emotions so hardily. It has gotten me so far in life or trouble in life. It has created change in life. But what I have learned really in the last 5 to 10 years is how to channel that for good and how to bring that together with people. I have learned to be kind. Just being nice is not on my radar. I think Elizabeth has said that being nice is just on the surface. It’s just right there. But being kind is more about your heart and if you are being kind you are always going to get that back. People remember how you make them feel and that is important to me. I have made people feel sad and mad. But is just no longer my goal. I want to be kind and people to know that I am on their team. I want to cheer for those people. I have learned that through being a business owner in a small town. Through being a mother of triplets. Oh my goodness the patience. I should not have prayed for patience. I think my husband prayed for patience. That ‘s where it came from. But that is what I hope you take away from me. I have been on the other side of the fence. I have been not kind and realize what is your saying about bees and honey Elizabeth? You attract so many more bees with honey. You just do. And I need people on my team. I want people on my team. This thing called life is just not fun alone. It’s just not. It is safe. But I do not love that. I am not afraid to put myself out there. I am not scared to show my weakness. Just don’t be afraid. Jump! If you have fears, jump. And always be kind. I hope you can learn you can get so many more bees with honey.
LACY: As a group we promise to be as vulnerable as 45 minutes allows. This will not be a podcast of all the things we do right. Hopefully you will learn what NOT to do as much as some ideas that do actually work. There will be interviews with other successful leaders as well as specific topics that we feel are just universally important to anyone who wants to pursue leadership. And just maybe it will have the ability to wake people up from a place they may not even know they are living in.
LIZ: Our mission is simple. It is one we each have lived out for years individually without the support we have now found in The Hive. No sense in you running alone any longer either. Together:
MICHELLE: We are going to be scared, but do it anyway
LACY: We are going to be ill-equipped, but hustle until we figure it out.
LIZ: We are going to be grateful, but always know there is more out there.
MICHELLE: We are going to know our worth, but empower others to find theirs.
LACY: We are going to be confident in our individual uniqueness, but support others in their corner.
LIZ: And above all, we are going to know our power, but use it to be kind.
LACY: Why did we decide to call this podcast Honey Hush?
LIZ: Michelle, you have got to tell them about Aunt Betty!
MICHELLE: “Honey, Hush” is something my Aunt Betty who is in her 70’s lives in West Point Mississippi has always said. She says things like “Heavens to Betsy, Honey, Hush”. I actually just posted about her just a couple weeks ago with wearing a reindeer onesie. That is my Aunt Betty. And she has so many great nieces and great nephews but has this amazing way to make every single one of us feel so special. I get emotional just thinking about it because she makes every one of us feel like we are her favorite. A lunch for us randomly will be out of the blue. The other day she made for me fried apple pies. She is just always consistent and is ready to tell a story and listen to your story. And she will say, “OOO Honey, Hush!”. And that is just so precious to me. And it has really impacted my life as an adult. When I think about how much time and effort, she might only give us a small window of her life every year, but it is intentional. You are always going to get a birthday card from her and it is going to be special. And you are always going to get that facebook post from her. We all say that we are Aunt Betty’s favorite and we all have a reason why. But Honey, Hush, oh my word I can hear her saying it right now. I think that so applies to what we are doing and what we hope to do. We hope to pour ourselves into people and “Honey, Hush, sit down, let me tell you about something.” We want to talk to you, we want to know about you and love you.
LIZ: This is the legacy we want to leave, we want to leave to anybody that we have the opportunity or privilege to speak to. But it is with intention. It has to be intentional. Because with that many family members she has to be intentional. And as entrepreneurs, we influence more people than we realize and we have to be intentional. Because when we are not, we Unintentionally hurt people.
LACY: Then as we further talked about what we hope to accomplish through this podcast it dawned on us that a bee hive has 5 types of bees working in the hive just like leadership has 5 major levels of development.
MICHELLE: All the bees are inside the hive just doing their thing all in support of the overall goal…to make honey!
LIZ: And the more honey, the more bees.
LACY: Yall we want you in our HIVE with us making this honey that we hope transforms the way women view each other in the business world. But knowing that everyone is not going to want to be a part of this. We are just responsible for doing our part. You know the saying “Straighten her crown without telling everybody else it was crooked.” We want to create a new culture of doing the right thing without expecting a reward or acknowledgment.
LIZ: Entrepreneurship, friendship, none of that stuff is safe. And so here is the deal. We are creating a community called The Hive. And what is inside a bee hive? Bees! What do bees have on their butts? Stingers! So lets just go ahead and state the obvious that when you mess with people, imperfect humans, you are going to get stung. Okay and in a hive full of females, the potential is pretty high. But what we need to do in this space that we are trying to create is to reduce that. Put your stingers up. I got one too. Is that what we are going to do? Sting eachother? I mean, we both die. When a bee stings someone her butt falls off, so they both die. That is not the point. The point is to create honey. And the more honey attracts more bees. That is the whole thing of this. That if we can be transparent enough to say this is where I screwed up or where I was unkind and then also say I would really like it if you would be kind because you hurt my feelings.
MICHELLE: We want people to sit at our table. Scoot over and let me in. I am going to let her in. So you scoot over and let her in.
LIZ: We both may be making the same honey and that is okay. I find it fascinating that in this group we all sort of cross over a little bit in what we do and how we do it and for the most part there is enough real estate on the market. There really is. But we have lots of cross over with friends, or whatever, but that is okay because at the end of the day we want everybody to be successful.
LACY: And this is NOT to say go be kind to everybody, pour your heart out, get ran over, be a doormat and be self deprecating. This is not that. But it is how do you stand in your own strengths and put away your own insecurities and celebrate that in others but also have boundaries to say I know what I can bring to the table and I will do my best to stay in my own lane but if that ever is threatened we will have to talk at some point how to decided which relationships to remain in and ones you don’t. And that will all be so important too. So if you think they are going to say “I have to completely let myself be trampled and torn up for the sake of other people”, NO! We hope to bring some wisdom to that and we each have different perspectives to give there. This is an important conversation. There are current business owner that need to hear this. There are aspiring entrepreneurs who need to hear this.
LIZ: How many other girls are out there scared to death because they have seen a bad example walked out and that scares them to the point that they are scared to offer the world their goodies because it is not worth…
MICHELLE: They are not going to jump. All you are going to do is fall. And I have said it so many times, if I fall , if I fail, I just learned what not to do next time. I am not going to stop just because. Never ever be afraid to jump. You may fail. Do it again. Get back up. Oh my goodness. You just learned what not to do next time. Failing is so important for your success in whatever you are doing.
LACY: We truly believe that there are more women out there that think like us but are waiting for a swarm of other like-minded women to come along side them. Well, here it is ladies. The Hive is officially open and ready to create a buzz with those who are ready to find their place in authentic leadership. We do not promise to be perfect, but we do promise to be transparently present.
LIZ: Honey attracts bees and we know that we need to create a community of women who are going to encourage each other in these things and bring their girlfriends with them too. We are going to learn to tell the negativity and competitiveness to HUSH. And we are going to do it together, but in a completely different way with three different personalities and three very different behavior styles and leadership skills. And you guys are going to resonate with someone different every time or you are going to love one and tune out the other. It does not matter. It is not always going to be this serious and we are going to figure it out together. The biggest thing we want you to understand is that you have got power. You as the individual listening right now have so much power and we are going to ask you to use it to be kind and ask you to join The Hive. We need you to press the subscribe button because that is the only way this message is going to get out to more and more people. We need to share this vulnerable place and this hive is going to grow and together we are going to learn to say “Honey, Hush, there is room for you at this table. Come sit beside me. Come hold my hand. I am screwed up too but together we are going to find an answer.”
LACY: So friends, thank you so much for letting us in your earbuds today. It fills our hearts with so much joy that you have come along and given us a shot. We hope that you will subscribe and follow along with us on all of our social media handles. And we would love to hear from you about what these words have done for your heart and how you feel they can impact your life. We are so excited to walk out this journey with you. Welcome to The Hive! There is a place for you!
Honey Hush Hive 